


Dreams are Illusion

by Kalkasar (Mordhena)



Series: Dreams [3]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Early Days, M/M, Telepathy, overtures - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26885194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Kalkasar
Relationships: Malcolm Reed/Charles "Trip" Tucker III
Series: Dreams [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1960810
Kudos: 16





	Dreams are Illusion

Commander Charles Tucker III walked along the hallway towards the Bridge  
Officers' quarters. He glanced briefly at the gift he carried in one hand. He passed   
his tongue across dry lips and took a deep breath. He mentally rehearsed the speech   
he wanted to make to the armory officer. _'I thought it only fittin' that I thank you...'_  
Trip shook his head with a muttered curse.  
  
He hadn't seen much of Malcolm in the week since they had stopped at the  
unnamed planet and dropped _The One_ back on its home world. Malcolm kept  
his distance, interacting with Trip as duty demanded and no  
further. His careful reserve seemed, if anything, more pronounced than ever  
and Trip had found himself wondering if what he recalled from  
that day in Cargo Bay 2 was imagination.  
  
Trip shook his head with a sigh. _'It couldn't be,'_ he told himself. _'I know  
I was outta my head after that thing let me go...but when Jon and I went  
down to that cargo bay with Malcolm I was clear headed...a couple of beers  
with Jon is not gonna addle my head that much!'_  
  
The commander had not been able to put the image of Malcolm's terrified eyes  
out of his head in the time that passed after the incident. He frowned.  
  
 _'An' I know I heard him thankin' God for me bein' safe.'_  
  
How he knew that Malcolm was referring to himself when he said that, Trip  
couldn't have said, but he knew it as surely as he knew his own name.  
  
And then there was the matter of the other emotions that had played through  
those gunmetal grey eyes in the instant before Malcolm fled. It was terror,  
and something else, something more important. Trip swallowed hard as he  
remembered it. No one had ever looked at him like that. Well no one except  
his mother, that is; many years before when he'd almost knocked his brains  
out in a fall from a horse on his uncle's ranch.  
  
Trip knew he wanted to see that naked, raw emotion in Malcolm's eyes again.  
He wanted to find a way in behind that mask of reserve. He knew he hadn't  
imagined that look in Cargo Bay Two and he planned to dig for it until he  
found it again.  
  
He arrived at the door of Malcolm Reed's quarters and pressed the door  
chimes. Biting his lips as he waited, Trip again glanced at the box he  
carried. He hoped that Malcolm would like the gift, a suggestion from Hoshi.  
  
He smiled as the door slid open and he found himself face to face with the  
Armoury officer, those smoky grey eyes regarding him for a moment before  
Malcolm said softly.  
  
"Commander Tucker."  
  
The soft, accented voice held a puzzled tone and Trip held up the box. "I uh... I  
wanted to see ..." his carefully rehearsed speech deserted him and Trip  
looked away. _'He didn't want to be one...'_ He shook off the plaintive voices  
in his mind and returned his gaze to the Armoury Officer's face. "I thought  
it was only fittin' that I should say thank you." He proffered the gift.  
  
"Oh, there's really no need..." Malcolm's eyes flickered to the box and then  
back to Trip's face. "Really I couldn't..."  
  
"Please," Trip said, holding the box out to Malcolm. The shutters were  
firmly in place, he noticed as Malcolm frowned slightly and took the gold  
cardboard box from him.  
  
"Won't you come in, Commander?" Malcolm stepped back from the door to give  
him room to pass.  
  
"Thanks." Trip stepped past the slim form of the lieutenant and moved into  
the room.  
  
He walked to a small sofa and took a seat, raising his eyes to look at  
Malcolm who stood near the door, staring at the box in his hand.  
  
"It sure is a pretty box," Trip remarked, "but the gift's inside...you gonna  
open it?"  
  
Malcolm shot him an unreadable look and nodded before he moved to a chair  
and sat down, prising the top of the box open with long, slender fingers. He  
lifted out the small, somewhat ornate looking bottle.  
  
"Pineapple Liqueur?" Reed glanced at Trip.  
  
"Yeah," Trip smiled, feeling a little abashed by the look in Malcolm's eyes.  
"I was gonna get you a bottle of bourbon, but the Capn's locked up his  
stash."  
  
Malcolm chuckled. "I can't say I blame him, really."  
  
"If ya don't like it I can..."  
  
"No. I like it." Malcolm smiled at him. "It's just a little bit out of the  
ordinary."  
  
"It was Hoshi's idea." Trip shifted in his seat, looking away from searching  
grey eyes that studied his face intently.  
  
"Well," Malcolm set the bottle aside. "Thank you."  
  
Silence fell between them for several minutes and Trip licked his lips  
nervously, unsure of what to do and feeling increasingly  
uncomfortable as Malcolm didn't seem inclined to talk. Trip started to say  
something twice but closed his mouth on the words, thinking that whatever he  
could say would sound forced and awkward.  
  
"I hope you're feeling better," The words were spoken so softly that Trip  
almost missed them.  
  
"What?" he frowned and then nodded. "Oh yeah. I'm feelin' alright. Glad to  
be...me again." He added with a smile.  
  
"Good." Malcolm clasped his hands together and leaned his elbows on his  
thighs.  
  
Silence again.  
  
"Malcolm?"  
  
"Yes?" Grey eyes met blue in a searching gaze.  
  
"I...heard what you said that day."  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Malcolm frowned.  
  
"In the cargo bay when...when that thing put me down, I...I heard you say  
... you thanked God that I was safe."  
  
Malcolm flinched and looked away. "I didn't say that," he said.  
  
"I heard you."  
  
"No." Malcolm looked into Trip's eyes. "You're mistaken, Commander. I never  
said anything like that."  
  
"Look, I know my head was probably addled at the time, Malcolm," he insisted  
on using the man's name, even though Reed kept the barrier of rank between  
them. "But I know what I heard. There was you, and Phlox and...everyone was  
talkin' at once and...and you said, 'He's safe. Thank God.'"  
  
"What do you want me to say, Commander?" Malcolm raised one hand and placed  
the tips of his fingers against his temple. It was like he raised a force  
field between them.  
  
Trip swallowed hard. "I...don't know." He didn't. He had hoped for something  
more than this. Some kind of acknowledgement that what had happened in Cargo  
Bay Two, both before and after _The One_ had seized him had meant something.  
He shook his head.  
  
Maybe he was mistaken after all. Maybe all of it had been the product of his  
terrified imagination. Maybe some part of him had just wanted someone to  
care about what happened to him, to care that he was safe. He sighed and  
looked at Malcolm who still hid his face behind that hand. "I'll go."  
He stood up. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to pressure you or anythin'. Just  
wanted t'say, thanks."  
  
Trip walked to the door, his heart heavy as the feeling of separation  
flooded in on him again. He sighed and reached for the control panel to open  
the door then turned sharply as Malcolm said something so low that he missed  
it. "What'd you say?"  
  
"I thought it."  
  
"You...thought...?"  
  
"Commander, no one said anything in the cargo bay when the life form  
released you and the others. It was ... quiet. Everyone just went on with  
what they were doing in silence. I didn't say anything; no one did, except  
Phlox. But...I thanked God you were safe. I thought it."  
  
Trip had to lean against a bulkhead for support. "I heard your thoughts?" He  
stared at Malcolm for a long moment in silence. It made sense. Weird sense,  
but sense all the same. He frowned. It wasn't the first time he'd had  
experience with telepathy. On the Xyrillian ship, he'd communicated with Ah'len  
telepathically, and he had known the thoughts of the others who were  
trapped in the cargo bay with him. He let out his breath. "Thanks," He said  
as he pushed away from the bulkhead. "At least I know I'm not goin'  
nuts."  
  
Malcolm finally looked up and met his eyes. Something unreadable flickered faintly in  
the clouded grey depths.  
  
"I'll...see ya." He stepped to the door and pressed the control to open it.  
  
Stepping out into the hallway, Trip sighed softly. He had got the answer he  
came for, hadn't he? Malcolm acknowledged that he was glad Trip was safe. No  
more, and no less. Maybe all the other stuff he thought he had seen was just  
wishful thinking - the constructs of a frantic mind facing a life and death  
situation. Sure. That must be it - just a dream. A fanciful illusion.  
  
The engineer thrust his hands into his pockets as he walked away towards his  
own quarters. Somehow, he was going to have to find a way to get used to  
being alone again. The others were coping with it, so what was wrong with  
him?  
  
He would just have to push all this to the back of his mind and try to  
forget it. Maybe Phlox would be proved right, and it would all fade away in  
time. He could only hope it would be sooner rather than later. This feeling of being separate  
was driving him insane.


End file.
